Fashion! - Group C

Welcome back to Fashion!

Every Friday, my Feminine Side and I get together and discuss the uniforms for each team in one of the eight groups featuring at the tournament next month.  At the end of each discussion, the jersey in question will be scored between 0 and 5 on the Tshabalala Scale.  This week, we tackle Group C.



GROUP C

England

ZGS:  I like jerseys with collars.  They make me feel like I'm Eric Cantona.
Feminine Side:  Yeah, I liked him before he got fat.
ZGS:  Collar aside, this is pretty blah.  For a bunch of Anglicans, these shirts sure look like Catholic school uniforms.
FS:  Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the students of Our Lady of Perpetual Underachievement.
ZGS:  And there's no way my nipples are going stealth in that material.
FS:  There's no way your nipples are going stealth in ANY material.
ZGS:  Connect Four!  I officially give these jerseys 2.5 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

United States

ZGS:  Wow.  There is A LOT of white going on in this group.
FS:  It's a good thing the World Cup is before Labor Day.
ZGS:  In and of itself, this jersey is pretty sweet.
FS:  I like the subtle sash.  It makes me think of a beauty pageant.
ZGS:  Everything makes you think of a beauty pageant.  You say the same thing when you walk through a curtain or answer a question about current events.
FS:  Yeah, well I'm not the one who knew Benjamin Bratt was in Ms. Congeniality when we went to trivia.  You're sleeping on the couch.
ZGS:  Battleship!  I officially give this jersey 4 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

Slovenia

ZGS:  This makes total sense.  You know how Slovenia isn't a real country?
FS:  Yeah, you've only said that a MILLION times.
ZGS:  Well, because it's made up, their jersey has nothing holding it back.  It can be as awseome as it wants to be.
FS:  That graphic element is pretty amazing, and the dark green is an attractive color.  The crest is great, too.  Modern, but not silly.
ZGS:  It's so perfect.  Look, no offense, but I want to impregnate this jersey.
FS:  Vaya con dios.
ZGS:  Chutes and Ladders!  I officially give this jersey 5 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

Algeria

FS:  Is that a MESH sleeve with a GREMLIN on it?
ZGS:  I think it's a bat.  Or Dracula in bat form.
FS:  I did not know he was North African.
ZGS:  What is the deal with that crest?
FS:  It looks like a an astronomy diagram.  Maybe the Algerians are also astronauts.
ZGS:  That's the only possible explanation.
FS:  This jersey sucks harder than the vacuum of space.
ZGS:  Mousetrap!  I officially give this jersey 0.5 out of 5 Tshabalalas.