Friends and Lovers-
Declarative sentence: The World Cup begins in less than a month. Additional declarative sentence, followed by a sentence fragment: This blog will mostly be about the World Cup. Mostly.
In paragraphs to follow, my prose will soar to great heights. It will glorify the people, the places, the world and the game. But do not expect such things today. Instead, in this opening post, I will employ a cheap literary device.
HERE IS A LIST OF TEN THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG:
1) I will refer to soccer as both "football" and "soccer," depending on how pretentious I feel at the time.
2) The research I use to back up my opinions will be conducted entirely on Wikipedia and Soccernet.
3) I will blindly support the USMNT, regardless of our available talent pool.
4) After the USMNT, I will root for the following ten teams in the following order: South Africa, Cameroon, Nigeria, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Australia, South Korea, Uruguay, Japan and Spain.
5) I will not root for the following four teams, ever, ever, ever: Italy, Germany, Portugal or Mexico.
6) I am not rich enough to go to South Africa myself, but I will try and have my bourgeoisie friends who are over there send me first hand accounts and pictures of the games, sights, sounds, prostitutes, etc, which I will cannibalize and post for my own benefit.
7) It is also very likely that I will talk a lot about food. From henceforth, all references to my food intake on this blog will be posted in a section called "The Ronaldo Report." Eating will also often be referred to as "Ronaldoing."
8) The only true Ronaldo is Fat Ronaldo, Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima, the Brazilian great and current World Cup Finals goals record holder (15). CRISTIANO Ronaldo will always be referred to either by his full name or the moniker "CRonaldo." Or "Fuckface."
9) Nobody knows anything about Slovenia, so don't expect me to, either.
10) I apologize in advance for a whole lot of cursing.
So. Well. Yes. Welcome.
-ZGS
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Who?
- ZGS
- Twenty-something. Amateur player, amateur writer. World class lover.
I commented first!
ReplyDeleteI'm number two! Just like poop!
ReplyDeleteI get to be one of your bourgeoisie friends!
ReplyDelete7) It is also very likely that I will talk a lot about food. From henceforth, all references to my food intake on this blog will be posted in a section called "The Ronaldo Report." Eating will also often be referred to as "Ronaldoing."
ReplyDeleteCan we assume this will not mean you are spending time with transvestite hookers?
Thank you for the Ronaldo reference. He is indeed the one and only Ronaldo, fuck fuckface. For the record, I would take fat Ronaldo to South Africa instead of Grafite even if he were 400lbs. Even at 300lbs, he still score goals for my beloved Corinthians.
ReplyDeleteThe 9 teams you are rooting for (after USA) are very likely to be the bottom 9 teams after the WC is over, in your order too (32nd being S. Africa).