Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Before we begin, I want to point out one thing:
That leopard has a camel-toe. Way to mix animal-metaphors. Sheesh.
Group E - Netherlands, Denmark, Japan and Cameroon
Want: Netherlands and Cameroon.
Oh Japan, your coach said you were going to make the semi-finals and midfielder Keisuke Honda said that you were going to go all the way, but you're both SO wrong.
strength is in your organization and team effort. You have forward Nicklas Bendtner, who's hair looks like a duck's butt. You're going to tie Japan. That's it.
Have you ever seen the Dutch play? Oh god, are they good. I know people say this every year, but I really think this tournament might finally be the time for the Netherlands to taste glory. While ultimate victory may or may not come to pass, expect the Dutch be in a comfortable enough position to rest their stars on the last day of group play.
beefy midfield, anchored by Makoun and Song, and with Eto'o up top, danger lurks around every corner. Add that to the fact that every single person on the African continent would have sex with Eto'o, they're going to have a large crowd edge wherever they go. Okay, that last part might be unfounded. Whatever.
There's no real creativity in either the Danish or Japanese sides. Creativity is key. No one in this group is going through on ties.
Group F - Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand and Slovakia
Want: Paraguay and Slovakia.
defending champions Italy choke on their [insert pasta product] before they even get on the plane. Oh, I hate you guys so much. When you get knocked out, I will LAUGH.
New Zealand, let's get one thing straight: I like you. A lot, in fact. But are you going to score a single goal? Odds are 15/1 against. Not that I condone sports gambling.
who was shot in the freaking head in the bathroom at a bar, but is somehow on the mend).
Martin Skrtel (yes, that's a real name) is fit, the defense will be solid. With midfielders Vladimir Weiss (the coach's son) and Marek Hamsik (he of the incredible hair) creating for in form forward Stanislav Sestak (the opposite of a Sleestak), the offense has the potential to be dangerous, as well.
Will: Italy and Paraguay.