Prediction vs. Conviction, Part Four.

Welcome to Prediction vs. Conviction, in which I explain what teams I realistically want to advance from group play versus what teams I actually think will advance from competition.

Today, I profile the last two groups, as well as share a picture of Nelson Mandela strangling a trophy.  Neat!

Group G - Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast and Portugal

Want:  Brazil and Ivory Coast.

North Korea, I hereby dismiss you thoroughly.

Portugal, I despise you.  CRonaldo cannot save you from disappointment and my resulting glee.  Also, Nani looks like a silly person.

Brazil has too much class to be worried, even in the Group of Death.  Despite big names Adriano and Ronaldinho missing out on the tournament, with [insert the name of any other Brazilian] on the field, the goals will come.  Expect big things from [insert name of Brazilian player], who has the ability to be the spark a team needs to win, at a moment's notice.  Also, Kaka means shit and I am twelve.

A storm's coming, folks, and it's wearing orange and green.  The Ivory Coast has the strongest team out of all the African qualifiers; if there ever was a chance for an African squad to go all the way, this is that year.  With no shortage of continental fans at their disposable, watch Drogba, Zokora, the Toures, Kalou, Toure, Kone, Boka and Eboue tear the rest of this group a new asshole. 

Will:  Brazil and Ivory Coast. 

I know this is the Group of Death, and I know Portugal won't be a bunch of pushovers, but I don't think they have enough oomph to take out either of the other contenders.

Group H - Spain, Switzerland, Honduras and Chile

Want:  Spain and Chile.

Switzerland, you may have a high FIFA world ranking, but this isn't a numbers game.  No home field advantage, like when you hosted the Euros.  See you next never.

Remember that time the US punched your ticket the to World Cup, Honduras?  If we hadn't tied Costa Rica on the final day, your summer would already be over, because there's no way you were beating Uruguay in a play-off.

This Spanish side is CLASSY.  Coming off a win in Euro 2008, Spain is ready to take the next step in global domination.  I wouldn't be surprised if they do it, too.  Look at a list of their players sometime and tell me you don't get at least half and erection.  Expect this to be Carlos Puyol's hair's swan song.  Expect this to be David Villa's goal orgy.

Chile cut a swath through CONMEBOL qualifying, finishing only behind Brazil in their quest to make the World Cup.  Humberto Suazo is a volatile striker who is not to be taken lightly.  Though I don't expect them to go past the second round, I can't see them not taking the two weaker teams in this group to task.

Will:  Spain and Switzerland.

Spain advances for obvious reasons.  Switzerland advances because I just talked so much shit on them, and they're actually not that bad.