Go Round and Round.

The World Cup is filled with silly little things.

Below is a list of the slogans to be featured on the side of each country's team bus for the tournament.  Some of them are great (U-S-A! U-S-A!), and some of them are terrible (I'm looking at you, Greece).


If some of these translations are wrong, and for some UNAMERICAN reason, you speak one of the FOREIGN languages used below, feel free to be that SUPER-PRETENTIOUS guy/girl and let us all in on how much "smarter" you are than the rest of us.  Just know that you're officially a TERRORIST if you do so.  This is America.  We speak English.





Algeria
نجمة وهلال من أجل هدف واحد: النصر
"Star and crescent with one goal: Victory!"
Ambitious.  Slightly ambiguous (depends on how you define "Victory").  Acceptably nationalist.  7 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Argentina
Última parada, la gloria
"Last stop: Glory"
Poor form, Argentina.  I have a better idea: "First stop: Glory."  First > Last, idiots.  3 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Australia
Dare to Dream, Advance Australia
Points for alliteration/assonance.  Additional points for realism.  Negative points for punctuation and a lack of balls.  5 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Brazil
Lotado! O Brasil inteiro está aqui dentro!
"The whole of Brazil is in here!"
Brazil's population is 193 million.  That's either one huge bus, or you're a bunch of fucking liars.  1 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Cameroon
Les lions indomptables sont de retour
"The Indomitable Lions are back"
From where?  And how about you bring punctuation back, next time?  4 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Chile
Roja la sangre de mi corazón, Chile campeón
"Red is the blood of my heart, Chile will be Champion"
Reasonably catchy, but scientifically misleading.  Additionally, prognosticatingly misleading.  Re-take Biologia.  3 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Côte d'Ivoire
Eléphants, battons nous pour la victoire!
"Elephants, let's fight for victory!"
Weakly worded.  Better suggestion:  "We are going to fuck you the fuck up."  5 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Denmark
Det eneste der kræves, er et dansk hold og en drøm
(All you need is a Danish team and a dream)
And talent.  And a good night's sleep.  And shoes.  And a brain.  Inaccurate use of the word "all."  1 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

England
Playing with Pride and Glory
It took me two weeks to write this sentence, I was so bored.  "Boring with Boring and Boring."  2 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

France
Tous ensemble vers un nouveau rêve bleu
(All together for a new dream in blue)
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?  2 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Germany
Auf dem Weg zum Cup!
"On the road to get the Cup!"
Technically, this is true.  However, this could be said of any team.  Be more specific.  4 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Ghana
The hope of Africa.
Totally sweet.  Points for using English.  Kind of fucks Africa if you lose, though.   8 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Greece
Η Ελλάδα είναι παντού!
"Greece is everywhere!"
Hmmm.  Last time I checked, you've never been to SPACE.  Don't ever make light of space.  0 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Honduras
Un país, una pasión, ¡5 estrellas en el corazón!
"One Country, One passion, 5 Stars in the heart!"
Totally appropriate.  Totally classy.  Totally true.  9 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Italy
Il nostro Azzurro nel cielo d'Africa
"Italian Azzurro on African sky"
SO not cool, Italy.  Remember that time you occupied parts of Ethiopia?  Way to bring that back up.  0 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Japan
侍魂はくじけない！日本勝利！
"The Samurai spirit never dies! Victory for Japan!"
As a kid who watched a ton of Samurai films in high school, it's hard to not get a boner when I read this slogan.  9 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Korea DPR
또다시 1966년처럼, 조선아 이겨라 !
"1966 again! Victory for DPR of Korea!"
Italy isn't even in your group, so how is repeating 1966 even possible?  Historically inaccurate.  3 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Korea Republic
승리의 함성, 하나된 한국
"The Shouts of Reds, United Republic of Korea."
Sounds like a bunch of Commie rhetoric to me.  2 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Mexico
¡Es tiempo de un nuevo campeón!
"It is time for a new champion!"
I'll agree that, with Italy as the current title holders, it IS time for a new champion.  It's not gonna be you, though.  5 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Netherlands
Let niet op de grote 5, maar pas op voor de oranje 11
"Don't fear the big 5, fear the Orange 11"
I DARE you to make less sense, Netherlands.  1 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

New Zealand
Kickin’ it Kiwi style
This is just sad.  Sounds like a 4th Grade social studies project.  3 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Nigeria
Super Eagles super fan united we stand
Terrible punctuation, but amazing AMERICA reference.  9 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Paraguay
El león Guaraní ruge en Sudáfrica
"The Guarani lion roars in South Africa!"
I think you mean Guarani Jaguar.  I know my big cat habitats.  Ain't no lions in Paraguay.  2 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Portugal
Um sonho, uma ambição…Portugal campeão!
"One dream, one purpose… Portugal victorious!"
Theoretically, I should like this, but you ARE Portugal, so fuck that.  3 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Serbia
Igramo srcem, vodimo osmehom!
"Play with the heart, lead with a smile!"
So, so great.  Major points scored for goodwill.  Even more points for making me imagine Vidic smiling.  9.5 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Slovakia
Rozbehnime to: Slovensko do toho!
"Shake the green field: Go Slovakia!"
I think this means that the players on your team are fat.  Not intimidating.  3 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Slovenia
Z enajstimi pogumnimi srci do konca
"With eleven brave hearts to the end"
This country is not real.  0 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

South Africa
One nation, proudly united under one rainbow
Welcome to South Gayfrica.  10 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Spain
Ilusión es mi camino, Victoria mi destino
"Hope is my road, victory my destiny"
Reasonably poetic with implications of Fate.  I'm all for hubris, however misguided.  Negative points for punctuation.  8 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Switzerland
Hopp Schwiiz! - "Hop Suisse!" - "Forza Svizzera!" - "C'mon Switzerland!"
We get it.  You speak 10 million languages.  Congratufuckinglations.  So.  Stuck.  Up.  0 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

Uruguay
El sol brilla sobre nosotros. ¡Vamos Uruguay!
"The sun shines upon us. Go Uruguay!"
Hate to break it to you, but the sun shines on everyone.  God owns the sun, not you a-holes.  2 out of 10 Bus Drivers.

USA
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Victory!
Perfect.  137 out of 10 Bus Drivers.