Fashion! - Group B

Welcome back to Fashion!

Every Friday, my Feminine Side and I get together and discuss the uniforms for each team in one of the eight groups featuring at the tournament next month.  At the end of each discussion, the jersey in question will be scored between 0 and 5 on the Tshabalala Scale.  This week, we tackle Group B.

Argentina

ZGS:  Classic.  Total classic.  Argentina's had this style of home jersey since the dawn of time.
Feminine Side:  It's a too bad Ronaldo isn't Argentine, because vertical stripes are slimming.
ZGS:  The crest is a little weird.  Is that an F or an E?
FS:  I don't know.  Are those doves or leaves around the outside?  I hope it's doves.
ZGS:  I'm really into the color. You know, this jersey would go really well with your eyes.
FS:  Oh, stop.
ZGS:  Francisco Coronado!  I officially give this jersey 4.5 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

Greece

FS:  Oh, this looks nice.
ZGS:  I couldn't disagree more.
FS:  I like it!  It's clean design and the color is great.
ZGS:  If they took away the random lines, I'd be into it.
FS:  It's stylish.  Asymmetry is really in, this year.
ZGS:  I have a response, but I'm not sure how to best express it.  How would you type out a vomit noise?
FS:  Bleuuuagch?
ZGS:  Ponce de Leon!  I officially give this jersey 2.5 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

Nigeria

ZGS:  Remember that time you wanted to buy a new dress and I went with you to Nordstrom's?
FS:  Vaguely.
ZGS:  Do you remember how you tried on this one dress you really liked, and I said "I saw something that looks almost exactly the same at Target, which would be cheaper," to which you said "I don't want to go to Target to look at dresses," and I asked you if we could just try, "because we're trying to save money for our vacation," but you somehow turned that into me saying I didn't think you "deserved to own nice things" and that "quality matters in clothes" and that I was "a fucking idiot," followed by you locking me out of the car for five minutes?
FS:  That may have happened.
ZGS:  Well, to me, this jersey looks like a t-shirt with an iron-on patch, but I'm pretty sure you think it's amazing, and that when asked why, you'll cite "craftsmanship" as the main reason.
FS:  Sometimes, I hate it that you are a good listener.
ZGS:  Sir Francis Drake!  I officially give this jersey 2.5 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

South Korea

FS:  Animal Print?  What is this, a Miami Sound Machine concert?
ZGS:  Are those supposed to be tiger stripes?
FS:  I think so.  You know what it looks to me, though?
ZGS:  An X-ray of two Pringles stacks?  I dunno.  Hit me.
FS:  It looks like how little kids draw birds that are flying in the distance.
ZGS:  Oh, totally!  I used to do that all the time, draw some fake Grand Tetons shit with a crappy sun, some clouds and two little Vs for the birds.
FS:  I still have a painting you did in 2nd Grade hanging on my wall.  It's of a pirate ship in a storm.
ZGS:  How does it look?
FS:  Totally sweet, unlike this jersey.
ZGS:  Vasco da Gama!  I officially give this shirt 2.5 out of 5 Tshabalalas.