Fashion! - Group D

Welcome back to Fashion!

Every Friday, my Feminine Side and I get together and discuss the uniforms for each team in one of the eight groups featuring at the tournament next month.  At the end of each discussion, the jersey in question will be scored between 0 and 5 on the Tshabalala Scale.  This week, we tackle Group D.



GROUP D

Germany

ZGS:  Germany aren't doing themselves any favors.
Feminine Side:  I know you said you don't blame modern Germans for the Holocaust, but looking at this jersey...
ZGS:  It's like they decided "I know, let's try as hard as we possibly can to remind people of that terrible thing we did that everyone hates us for."
FS:  The away jersey is even worse.  I hope they don't have as many uniforms as they did Reichs; two of these is enough.
ZGS:  Too soon?
FS:  Too soon.
ZGS:  Eric Dickerson!  I officially give this jersey 1 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

Australia


FS:  Oh.  No.
ZGS:  Oh.  Wow.  I think fashion might have just died.
FS:  It's like someone took the absolute worst concept from women's clothing, the shrug, and put it on a jersey.
ZGS:  I don't know what that means, but it sounds awful.
FS:  Trust me, it is.
ZGS:  I'm really sorry for making you look at this.  You're very brave.
FS:  Australia's uniform is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
ZGS:  Roger Craig!  I officially give this jersey -37 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

Serbia

FS:  This is the classiest jersey we've seen, so far.
ZGS:  I totally agree.  It's a perfect synthesis of national identity and style.
FS:  Normally, when I see crosses on clothes there's an immediate Jesus association, but by offsetting the lines, it avoids the cliche.
ZGS:  Added bonus:  It also repels vampires.
FS:  They should wear it for all night games.
ZGS:  Herschel Walker!  I officially give this jersey 5 out of 5 Tshabalalas.

Ghana

FS:  What is going on here?  No, really.  Someone tell me.
ZGS:  Holy clipart, Batman!  That crest looks like something I drew on MS Paint.
FS:  Again with the mesh sleeves.  What was Puma thinking?
ZGS:  This jersey is the marriage of shitty and boring.
FS:  I am SO glad I was not invited to that union.  You know what could make this better?
ZGS:  Anything?
FS:  Exactly.
ZGS:  Barry Sanders!  I  officially give this jersey 1 out of 5 Tshabalalas.