Or is it?
Let's throw down, World Cup style. Oh, and if you're a STRAIGHT DUDE or a TOTAL LEZ and you're reading this, you can still play along. The whole point of MBK is to use your critical thinking skills. It's ok. I promise it's not a Gus Triandos situation.
THE FORWARDS
MBK: Peter Crouch, Obafemi Martins or Kun Aguero?
THE ASSHOLES
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MBK: John Terry, William Gallas or Alberto Gilardino?
THE CAPTAINS
MBK: Landon Donovan, Park Ji Sung or Didier Drogba?
THE WAGS
MBK: Sylvie van der Vaart, Carly Cole or Sarah Brandner?
So many ways to do this. Discuss.
OK, I'll play. I am supposed to explain my choices?
ReplyDeleteKill Crouch (self-evident, he's all arms and legs and he's English); Boff Martins (killer bod and I have seen those backflip goal celebrations); Marry Aguero (seems nice)
Kill Terry (English); Boff Gilardino (you can't trust an Italian lover in the long-run); Marry Gallas (seems like a nice guy, and the whole Aresenal thing, duh)
Kill Drogba (diving prick); Boff Donovan (diving prick, but he's our diving prick); Marry Park (I'm a rice queen)
The girls are much tougher for me....they all look pretty trashy. I'll say Kill Cole; Boff van der Vaart; Marry Bradner.
For me, it goes as follows:
ReplyDeleteFORWARDS
Marry Crouch (he's hilarious; we could hang out). Boff Martins (hasn't ever struck me as the talking type). Kill Aguero (mostly because of his hair. it annoys me that much).
ASSHOLES
Boff Terry (then release sex tape with him catching to british tabloid, annihilating the last shreds of his reputation). Kill Gilardino (you know he's not going to try in the sack). Marry Gallas (i could learn to speak French!).
CAPTAINS
This one was the hardest for me.
Marry Drogba (in a beautiful ceremony that single-handedly changes attitudes about homosexuality in African nations, after which, we travel the world, performing feats of strength and kindness). Boff Donovan (after all he's done for the US, he deserves at least a handy). Kill Park (i really hate Manchester United).
WAGS
Marry Van der Vaart (she's seems like a spirited girl). Boff Brandner (sending Schweinsteiger into a spiraling depression, thus ruining Germany's chances). Kill Cole (to eliminate the competition, so to speak).
Forwards: Kill Crouch, it would be funny to see his gangling body fly over the edge of a tall building. Boff the beautiful Aguero. Marry Martins as he would be small and extremely spoonable.
ReplyDeleteAssholes: Marry the world's most fantastic player and all around guy, John Terry. Boff the streamline Gallas. Kill Gilardino for having a tough to pronounce last name and for playing his violin after goals. Trombones forever!!!
Captains: Kill the talented, yet still annoying Landycakes. Boff the hot asian Park, but avoid getting teased for having yellow fever by not getting married. Marry the richest one of the bunch, the highly paid Dr. Ogba. He's a doctor.
Wags: Kill Mrs. Cole as I don't want to get with someone that has done porn. Boff Mrs. Schwienstieger, as I would not like to cause lasting sadness to Bastian. Marry the sexy Dutch sleek Sylvie, and release her from being named, "of the Fart."