Fashion! - Group E

Welcome back to Fashion!

Every Friday, my Feminite Side and I get together and discuss the uniforms for each team in one of the eight groups at World Cup 2010.  At the end of each discussion, the jersey in question will be scored between 0 and 5 on the Tshabalala Scale.

This week, we tackle Group E.

Man on the Street - Volume 1

I got a couple of emails this morning that I'd like to share with you.  Travis and Craig are traveling together in South Africa.  This is part of their story.

A Message from Craig:

So yesterday was the biggest ordeal getting tickets, but it all worked out, thank god. They only have a couple outlets where you can pick up your tickets and the one at the airport had this extraordinarily long line (which I probably should have used anyway), so we went to the pickup spot in Pretoria. We ended up having to wait in line for 2 hours because their atm-like terminals were all down (imagine that in africa). 

Getting my tickets was easy because I just handed them my credit card and my id, and got the tickets, but the USA v England tix were the more difficult ones, as we had Rob's credit card, but not his ID. Travis pretended to be Rob, and said that he didn't have his ID because the directions said all you needed was the credit card (which they did), so we argued with the guy, and then he went and got his manager, but that didn't work, so I had the realization that I had my ID and my name was for one of the tickets, so I gave them my ID, the manager went back and checked and since everything checked out with me, they printed out the tickets for us. I was going to freak out if we couldn't get those tickets!

Anyway, it's crazy here. Travis heard his first vuvuzela at 5:30, but I wasn't woken up until 7:30. And we're not even downtown. When we get off the internet here, we're going to go to downtown Pretoria and watch the opening ceremonies and the games there. I'm so freaking excited. Everyone here is so super nice to us. They, as a country, are just as excited as we are. Tomorrow we're going to drive out to Rustenburg early and spend the whole day at the stadium. The tickets for the USA v England game are pretty damn good. We're about half way up, right at midfield in the USSF section. Look for us. I've got Charlie Davies 9's that I will be holding up at the 9th minute. As for today, maybe one of the bars will have WiFi, though I haven't found any wifi in this country yet, so I can chat in real time on my iphone. Either way, go Bafana Bafana!

All Nighter.

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World Crunk

If (god forbid) you're not a huge fan of soccer, here's an easy way to get more into the game:

Drink.

The World Cup is a great excuse to get Dr. Unk.  Drinking and soccer go together like, well, drinking and anything.  It's a phenomenon Stuff White People Like lampoons pretty effectively, but frankly, just because something is a bit of a stereotype doesn't mean you should shy away from it.  To wit, I would never expect an African American to not eat fried chicken--that shit is DELICIOUS.

The Deal.

Good afternoon, you cheating, preening racists.

The World Cup begins in two days (or maybe one, depending on how you count). I think it's about time we discussed exactly how things are gonna shake down once the games start.

I am not a housewife. Trust me, I'm more broken up about it than you are. I work and go to school, so as much as I'd like to sit at home all day and watch soccer, I just can't. That said, I will be recording all the games on my DVR, then watching them in one huge glut at night. And as I behold the glory, my sweaty ass slowly becoming one with my roommate's couch, I shall write.

So. The Deal:

I will post my analysis of all the game(s) every night, sometime before 12:00 AM. I will also provide a separate set of predictions for what you can expect from the match(es) on the morrow. During the day, I will likely throw some levity at you here and there, but I am not going to make any concrete promises on that front.

We good? Everything clear and rosy? Yeah. We good.

-ZGS

Beans don't burn on the grill.

It was bound to happen, folks.  BOUND to happen.



I am writing today to share my joy with you.  Last night, not only did I finish my profiles of all 31 teams not named The United States of America, but I also published my first post for the version of this blog being hosted on Lawrence.com, the online arts and culture magazine for the Lawrence Journal World.

Check my new shizz out here:  Two Worlds, One Cup v 2.0.

I Wish.

This is a diatribe.  I've been saving it for last for a reason.  Fasten your seatbelts.  There will be no pictures, no links, just straight up rhetoric.

Engage.

WHY I HATE YOUR TEAM - FRANCE EDITION

What is Worst in Life? - Round Four.

Welcome back to WHAT IS WORST IN LIFE? the timesaving version of WHY I HATE YOUR TEAM.

Wherein I compare and contrast the massive shortcomings of two World Cup nations in an arbitrary number of categories, determining once and for all which country's team is WORST.

This week, we examine how succeeding in life is quite often a name game, but other times, it's definitely not.


WHAT IS WORST IN LIFE? - GREECE vs NETHERLANDS

What is Worst in Life? - Round Three.

Welcome back to WHAT IS WORST IN LIFE? the timesaving version of WHY I HATE YOUR TEAM.

Wherein I compare and contrast the massive shortcomings of two World Cup nations in an arbitrary number of categories, determining once and for all which country's team is WORST.

Up this week on the scales of justice?  The Eastern Blech.

WHAT IS WORST IN LIFE? - SLOVAKIA vs. SERBIA

Won't Get Fooled Again.

Well, well, well.  We're almost there.

Four posts to go before I've profiled the whole tournament.  I'm about as hyped up as a middle class white dude can get without four hours of straight High Lifing.  Today's receptacle for my stinging ire?  Cameroon, which, I think is in Africa.  Let's find out.

WHY I HATE  YOUR TEAM - CAMEROON EDITION