Ultimate Interviews - Mama Bear.

We've learned a lot over the past month.

As the Final approaches on Sunday, it's time for an interview round-up.  We'll be hearing from each of our World Cup correspondents ONE LAST TIME in a segment I toyed with calling The Closing Statement, but there are way too many Law & Order shows out there for me to be comfortable with the judicial reference.

I sent each of my blog-helpers the same ten-questionnaire, through which I hope to discover the true essence of World Cup 2010.  That, or this is a lazy, literary gimmick.

MAMA BEAR:  THE ULTIMATE INTERVIEW

World Crunk

If (god forbid) you're not a huge fan of soccer, here's an easy way to get more into the game:

Drink.

The World Cup is a great excuse to get Dr. Unk.  Drinking and soccer go together like, well, drinking and anything.  It's a phenomenon Stuff White People Like lampoons pretty effectively, but frankly, just because something is a bit of a stereotype doesn't mean you should shy away from it.  To wit, I would never expect an African American to not eat fried chicken--that shit is DELICIOUS.

Brief Interviews with Beautiful Women, Part One.

My parents are coming into town tonight for the Bar Mitzvah of a close family friend's youngest son.  They'll be spending most of their time in Topeka, my old home, but we'll be seeing each other quite a bit.  We'll probably Ronaldo a ton of food, too.

In honor of their return to Kansas, where they lived for almost two decades, I present to you the following, totally topical interview:

Brief Interviews with Beautiful Women - Mama Bear Edition

Interview conducted via email.  Additional commentary in parens.