My task is simple: Live-blog the finals. I'll be doing it in the comments section. Prepare for greatness.
-ZGS
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The Final: Live!
My task is simple: Live-blog the finals. I'll be doing it in the comments section. Prepare for greatness.
-ZGS
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The Pre-Game show is on.
ReplyDeleteThey showed shots of both teams coming off the buses. Not sure if this means anything, but the Dutch are all carrying backpacks. David Villa, on the other hand, is clutching a Coach carry-all. Hilarious.
On a different topic, if Alexi Lalas never spoke again, I would be really happy. He talks SO MUCH and at SUCH A VOUME, but says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. He's an angry, angry man and I'm rather done with him.
Mandela was at the stadium earlier, but he's gone home to watch the game on his own TV.
ReplyDeleteI'm probably going to H-E-Double-L for saying this, but how certain are we that Mandela isn't in a Weekend at Bernie's situation right now? I wonder this about all aging world leaders, good ones and evil ones. Is Cuba being run by a Castro-puppet?
Weekend at Bernies is a frightening concept.
This is an Orange versus Red match-up, and I'm pretty sure Spain is going to have to wear their away kit. At least, that's what it looks like based upon the warm-ups. More on this, later.
ReplyDeletePedro is starting for Spain, which means that Torres is benched.
ReplyDeleteGOOD. Dude has not been good this tournament. At all.
Two Things I'm Tired Of:
ReplyDelete1) U2 and their cross-over remixes. "Get on Your Boots" was a terrible song to begin with. Nobody wants to hear it redone with some canned South African choir.
2) Jeremy Schaap's voice. He may be a good reporter, but he's got one of those smarmy, NPR style voices that makes my head want to explode. Just. Shut. Up.
I'm gonna miss the Vuvuzelas.
ReplyDeleteI'll be back in 10 minutes. I need to cook some food, real quick.
ReplyDeleteSidenote - There's a new show out there starring Michael Chiklis (The Commish!) as the father in a family with superpowers. Fucking. Awful.
The teams are walking out of the tunnel. Spain in Dark Blue, Holland in Oranje.
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe that Howard Fucking Webb is the referee for the Final.
The captains are introducing each player to SA President Jacob Zuma. It's kind of hilarious to see GVB saying each of his teammates' names.
ReplyDeleteThe Netherlands wins the National Anthem competition.
ReplyDeleteSinging > No Singing. Every time.
Netherlands:
ReplyDeleteMaarten Stekelenburg
Joris Mathijsen
John Heitinga
Giovanni Van Bronckhorst
Gregory Van Der Wiel
Nigel De Jong
Mark Van Bommel
Robin Van Persie
Wesley Sneijder
Dirk Kuyt
Arjen Robben
Spain:
ReplyDeleteIker Casillas
Carles Puyol
Gerard Piqué
Joan Capdevila
Sergio Ramos
Sergio Busquets
Xabi Alonso
David Villa
Xavi
Andrés Iniesta
Pedro
Kick off!
ReplyDeleteSpain going right to left, Netherlands left to right.
Pedro and Busquets have the exact same form when they fake an injury. Practice makes perfect!
ReplyDeleteEarly set piece for Spain.
ReplyDeleteGREAT SAVE BY SKELETONBURG!
ReplyDeleteRamos is denied off the header from the set piece. Superb goalkeeping.
Villa has mistimed his run twice so far, ending in offsides.
ReplyDeleteIf I were the Dutch, I'd be worried that there isn't going to be a third time.
Busquets gifts Kuyt the ball outside the box. His shot is tame, though. Easy save for Casillas.
ReplyDeleteRobben has dribbled when he should have passed twice now. This time, it led to a decent chance for Spain. He needs to cut that shit out.
ReplyDeleteSpain has all the early possession (are we surprised?).
ReplyDeleteI don't think the Netherlands has strung more than three passes together.
Two decent chances for Spain.
ReplyDeleteFirst, Ramos breaks into the box and sends a low cross that gets cleared by Heitinga for a corner.
Off the short corner, Villa takes a volley from a tough angle and pelts the side netting.
Seven passes by the Dutch! A new World Record!
ReplyDeleteRVPersie sees yellow for a pretty tame sliding challenge. The modern game is refereed WAY too tight.
ReplyDeletePresident Zuma (SA), Queen Sofia (Spain) and Prince Alexander (Holland) are all sitting next to each other in the box. AWKWARD!
ReplyDeletePuyol sees yellow for sliding in to Robben from behind. For once, Robben did not dive.
ReplyDeleteFree kick in a good position.
ReplyDeleteSolid grab by Casillas off the Sneijder shot from 35m out. Set piece danger NEUTRALIZED.
ReplyDeleteThe balance in this game is slowly shifting. Netherlands seem to have calmed down a bit. Not entirely, though.
ReplyDeleteDutch coach Bert van Marwijk HAS A MULLET! HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE?!?!?!?!?
ReplyDeleteDe Jong has been doing a great job of tracking down the ball. Consumate D-Mid.
ReplyDeleteThree yellows, so far. Two deserved. Van Bommel slides in Iniesta. Iniesta sells it, but it was a cardable offense.
ReplyDeleteNo, wait... FOUR YELLOWS! Ramos barely clips Kuyt!
A ROPE! A TREE! TO HANG THE REFEREE!
Robben dives again.
ReplyDeleteNot much happening for the last few minutes.
ReplyDeleteWait... there it is. De Jong gets a yellow. This one is for real. He full on spiked Alonso in the chest. Maybe deserved a red. Lucky.
Okay, and I'm pretty sure they just showed Morgan Freeman in the audience. I hope I'm not just being racist. I know what MF looks like. 90% certain that was him. He looked kind of like a bored buffalo.
ReplyDelete32 minutes gone, and we haven't REALLY seen a good chance on goal.
ReplyDeleteI WANT SOME FUCKING GOALS!!!!!
Weird passage of play:
ReplyDeleteCasillas comes out and collects the ball but clatters into Puyol. He throws the ball out at the halfway line, as Puyol is hurt. The Dutch play the ball in, kicking it back to Casillas so that Spain can retain possession. The ball almost bounces over Casillas and into the net, but he palms it away. He GLARES at the Dutch. Corner kick. Van Persie passes it back to Casillas, on the ground this time.
Fucking strange.
Mathijesen (or however you spell that) whiffed the ball on the edge of the six yard box. That's why you're a defender, buddy.
ReplyDeleteGood set of passes by Spain.
ReplyDeleteSergio Busquets is officially a bitch. He fakes injuries more than any other player (besides CRonaldo).
ReplyDeleteAlmost at the half. Will we see a goal?
ReplyDeleteMy guess: No.
Flash of danger from Netherlands.
ReplyDeleteThe ball bounces around the Spanish box, eventually ushered out for a corner off Robben's (selfish) shot.
Half.
ReplyDeleteSee you in fifteen.
Halftime Analysis:
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning, it looked like Spain was going to own the game. About twenty minutes in though, the Dutch started to play all Olivia Newton John and shit (which is exactly what Germany didn't do in the semis). From there on, the game was pretty even.
If the Dutch are going to score, it will probably be from a set piece. If the Spanish are going to score, it could come from anywhere.
Second half begins.
ReplyDeleteHeitinga looks like my old roommate Johan.
ReplyDeleteCapdevilla whiffs the ball from the exact same spot Mathejisen did in the first half. Once again, that's why your a defender, buddy.
ReplyDeleteVan Bommel idiotically pushes Alonso from behind IN THE BOX, but it's too close to the end line for Webb to give a penalty.
ReplyDeleteSilky touch from RVP.
ReplyDeleteI AM SO SICK OF ARJEN ROBBEN NOT PASSING THE BALL AND SHOOTING IT AS HE CUTS ACROSS THE BOX EVEN THOUGH HE IS LIKE A MILLION FEET AWAY AND HAS THREE DEFENDERS ON HIM.
ReplyDeleteFree kick in a dangerous position for Spain, coupled with another yellow (undeserved) for GVBronckhorst. 25 yards out, right side of the box.
ReplyDeleteXavi's resulting shot is a bit slow and far too wide.
ReplyDeleteRobben finally decides to pass the ball, but it's way too late.
ReplyDeleteARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!?!? Howard Webb has now handed out seven yellow cards. Heitinga sees yellow for a tackle that was MAYBE a foul.
ReplyDeleteFouls and cards are really destroying the rhythm of this game. Can't we just play some soccer?
ReplyDeleteNetherlands with a free kick 40 yards out. Here comes the cross... EXTREMELY CLOSE TO A GOAL and A PENALTY. Ramos was hanging all over him and his header goes wide.
ReplyDelete*and by him, I mean Heitinga.
ReplyDeleteJesus Navas and his creepy/dreamy eyes have been substituted on for Pedro, who has had an average outing.
ReplyDeletePique takes a knock, but for once, there's no blood.
ReplyDeleteWOWOWOWOOWOW!
ReplyDeleteSneijder springs Robben with a slick through ball... Robben is all alone against Casillas... he sidefoots the ball, but Casillas comes up big and stops the shot with his feet!
Robben was so easy to read on that play... he's all left foot. Everyone in the world knew where he was going with that shot. He should have chipped it or used his right. Anything but THE MOST OBVIOUS THING IN THE WORLD.
ReplyDeleteBy far the best chance of the game. Maybe the easiest chance of the tournament for Robben.
ReplyDeleteHere comes Spain...
ReplyDeleteNavas is creating a spark. Xavi is sick with his passes, as usual. Such touch. Spain creates a half chance that Skeleton burg smothers.
ReplyDeleteCapdevilla takes down RVP as he was starting to break. Just a clip, really. Maybe not intentional. He sees yellow though, of course. That's eight, now.
ReplyDeleteGaps beginning to show in the Oranje back line. Villa is barely offsides on the Pique feed. Very close.
ReplyDeleteDANGER!!!!
ReplyDeleteNavas slides a cross across the face of the goals that gets tangled in Heitinga's legs before falling to Villa four yards out. Villa winds up, but a last second lunge from the supine Heitinga is enough to deflect the shot, which was almost surely going in.
Kuyt subbed out for Elia.
ReplyDeleteSloth still loves Chunk, though.
This game is opening up. We've seen a fair amount of chances in the last ten minutes. Surely there's at least ONE goal in this game.
ReplyDeleteAnother free kick for Spain. This time, 23 yards out, left of center.
ReplyDeleteVilla misses over and to the right.
ReplyDeleteA text message from Travis: "This ref blows."
ReplyDeleteYes he does, Travis. Yes, he does.
Villa with a half chance. Difficult position. Nothing comes of it.
ReplyDeleteXavi and Villa combine very well, but Villa's shot it deflected out.
ReplyDeleteRAMOS MISSES A FREE HEADER!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTERRIBLE!!!!!!
HE WAS ALL ALONE!!!! PUTS IT OVER THE BAR!!!!
It's ALMOST as bad as Robben's miss.
ReplyDeleteIniesta just threw an arm at Van Bommel after Iniesta felt like he was fouled. Could have seen yellow for that.
ReplyDeleteAbout ten minutes to go.
ReplyDeleteI have to work at four, so I REALLY need a winner in the last ten minutes.
ReplyDeleteIniesta works his way into the box, but the Dutch cover well and smother the chance. If Iniesta had gone to his left, things might have ended differently.
ReplyDeleteAnother free kick for Spain. This time, set up for a cross. Nothing.
ReplyDeleteRobben AGAIN!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHe breaks through off a long kick, Puyol hanging on his back, beats Pique, but can't get by Casillas. For some unexplainable reason, Robben stayed on his feet, even though Puyol was fouling him. It would have been a red card if he'd gone down.
Casillas has his number. Casillas has his mom's number.
Fabregas is coming into the game!!!!
ReplyDeleteFive minutes left.
ReplyDeleteFabregas is on for Xabi Alonso. I'm glad to see him on the field. He deserves to play in this game.
ReplyDeleteVilla gets rugby tackled.
ReplyDeleteThere's a sense of desperation in the air.
ReplyDeleteVan Persie is offsides, but plays on anyway after the whistle. He beats Casillas, but still hits the post. Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThree minutes added time.
ReplyDeleteWe're into Extra Time. Two fifteens, no golden goal.
ReplyDeleteMy roommate just showed up and now I have to endure his commentary while I try and watch. GREAT.
ReplyDeleteI KNEW I SHOULD HAVE PUT A TV IN MY ROOM.
Okay. Somebody fucking DO THIS.
ReplyDeleteWe're going again.
Claim for a penalty from Spain. What really happened was Xavi and Iniesta both diving. Sorry, guys.
ReplyDeleteIniesta slots Fabregas through and he's one on one with Skeletonburg, who makes a GREAT SAVE. Wow. So close.
ReplyDeleteOn the other end, the Dutch win a corner and Mathijesen botches his header. Such a defender.
ReplyDeleteSpain with a corner that comes to naught.
ReplyDeleteIniesta is through one on one, but he takes TOO MUCH TIME on the ball and the defender gets back to clear.
ReplyDeleteVan der Vaart is on for Nigel de Jong.
ReplyDeleteFabregas is SO CLASSY.
ReplyDeleteNAVAS WITH A CHANCE!! It takes a deflection, but hits the sidenetting, near post. Skeletonburg has a huge smile on his face, because he was diving the other way and would have had no chance.
ReplyDeleteFabregas with a half chance.
ReplyDeleteGVB is off. Braafheid is on. What a fucking name.
ReplyDeleteSecond half of Extra Time. Torres is on for David Villa. This could be REALLY interesting.
ReplyDeleteText from Travis: Chance for Torres to totally redeem himself... or completely validate his shittiness.
ReplyDeleteIniesta is pulled down from behind... Heitinga sees his second yellow, so he's gone. I can't remember if his first yellow was justified, so I'm not sure how much bullshit this is.
ReplyDeleteText from Travis: I say again, this ref fucking blows.
ReplyDeleteNow Holland is praying to survive this second period. It sucks when a team has to hope for penalties.
ReplyDeleteSkeletonburg with a great punch out off the cross.
ReplyDeleteThe pace of the game has really slowed down, now.
ReplyDeleteHe boots the ball away, which is technically a yellow card, but Webb doesn't pull it out, as he would have to send the man off. That would be RIDICULOUS.
ReplyDeleteFree kick for Holland. Here comes Sneijder.
ReplyDeleteHe gets a deflection, but it spins wide.
ReplyDeleteElia gets denied a foul... Spain on the break...
ReplyDeleteFabregas to Iniesta.... is he offsides?!?!?!? I thought he was... the balls in the net... AND IT'S A GOAL!
ReplyDeleteHe's onside! Definitively!
ReplyDeleteOnly a few minutes left for a miracle...
ReplyDeleteI had hoped to take over your blog. And for the Dutch to win :(
ReplyDeleteIniesta will never have to buy a drink again.
ReplyDeleteA bit of time wasting now by Spain. Understandable. I'd do it.
ReplyDeleteTwo minutes of stoppage time.
ReplyDeleteOne minute to go...
ReplyDeleteThe Dutch are flailing... last chance...
ReplyDeleteTorres hurts himself...
ReplyDeleteAnd its over. I have to go to work now. More analysis tonight.
ReplyDeletebtw, iniesta's being "pulled down from behind" was about as legitimate as iran's theory on the holocaust.
ReplyDelete